My life

Man is college awesome!  I am working 12 hours a week and taking 20 units worth of classes.  I am trying to kill myself I guess!  I am busier now than I have ever been, but it’s still really amazing here.  I am currently doing 4 things that I am totally obsessed with:

• Learning more and more about God’s love and His word.  What an amazing Lord we serve and it’s so good to learn what He has planned out for us, and how He wants us to respond to Him.  I am more amazed everyday, especially in spite of my sin.
• Dating Dana.  What a great girl, she is currently doing my laundry for me because I am having a crazily busy night.  She is really an amazing friend.  She blesses me and tests me more than anyone else.  She wants to see me grow in the Lord and walk with Him.  I love her.  We’ve been talking with our parents too, and it looks like marriage isn’t all that far away.  Maybe next December or January.  I am working on getting a ring right now.
• Studying Church Music.  Dana and I just recently got involved at Santa Clarita Baptist Church here in town.  We are both part of the worship choir, which sings every week!  How cool is that?  Not a lot of churches have choirs that sing every week.  Anyway, I get to wear a choir robe and stuff, so life is good.  I also am taking a Church Music Administration class, which teaches you a lot about the mechanics of how things work in the church, and also teaches you the importance of having a right heart in ministry.  I’ve been reading a lot of good stuff about church music also.  11 students and 3 faculty went to a Church Music Workshop at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary two weeks ago.  I went also, and it was amazing.  I really loved their Church Music program there, and they ever have a track for non-music majors.  It was a really enlightening experience, and I think that unless God calls me straight into ministry after I graduate, that is where Dana and I will end up.  I want to work on a Master of Music in Church Music with a Church Ministry or Vocal Pedagogy concentration.
• Studying computer security.  I am in an advanced networking and security class, and the whole thing is basically a seminar taught by the head of the Information and Computer Services department.  It is a forum for him to use our minds (the three of us in the class) to think of ways to better protect the school’s information systems.  It is half class and half think-tank, and I love it.  I am currently doing a project on the physical security of the information systems at TMC.  It sounds boring to some, but I really love it!

Anyway, that is my life currently.  Also, I don’t know if I told you this, but I am going to be staying here at TMC an extra two semesters to start studying music.  I want to get a music minor at least.  I think that qualifies me more for music ministry in the church but it also gives me a stepping stone to seminary if that is where the Lord is leading.  I am so excited about what God is doing in my life right now.  It is extremely hard and extremely rewarding.

We Three Kings

This song has always (since last year anyway) struck me and people wonder why.  It is a dumb kids song that really doesn’t mean anything.  And besides that, everyone knows that the Bible doesn’t say three kings, it just says wise men, or kings from the East.  Well, follow me on this one.  It pretty much rocks, and it makes me cry because of the beautiful imagery used to describe our Lord Jesus Christ.  Let’s look at the text:

We three kings of Orient are;
Bearing gifts we traverse afar,
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following yonder star.

Born a King on Bethlehem’s plain
Gold I bring to crown Him again,
King forever, ceasing never,
Over us all to reign.

Frankincense to offer have I;
Incense owns a Deity nigh;
Prayer and praising, all men raising,
Worship Him, God on high.

Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes a life of gathering gloom;
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying,
Sealed in the stone cold tomb.

Glorious now behold Him arise;
King and God and sacrifice;
Alleluia, Alleluia,
Earth to Heaven replies

O star of wonder, star of light,
Star with royal beauty bright,
Westward leading, still proceeding,
Guide us to thy perfect light.

“We three kings of orient are, bearing gifts we traverse afar.”  This is something of an introduction to the song, setting the characters and scene.  The rest of the verse fills in what they have to go through.

 “Born a king on Bethlehem’s plain, Gold I bring to crown Him again.”  The first king comes forth to the baby Jesus and offers Him gold as a gift.  Gold was a kingly gift, and the picture of such an important man coming so far to offer a baby gold and then bow down to Him and pay homage is breathtaking.  He is bowing to a child under the age of two and offering Him gold.  He recognizes that this is God incarnate because he says “Gold I bring to crown him again.  Jesus never ceased to be King of Kings when He transitioned from the heavenly state into the lowly state of a baby human.  What a picture!  “King forever, ceasing never, over us all to reign.”  This wise, rich and powerful man comes to the baby Jesus and proclaims Him as king forever, never ceasing to reign over all of man kind.  This is an amazing picture of Christ’s office of King of all creation.

The second king steps forth and offers Frankincense.  Incense was burned in a temple to honor a deity.  This incense that the wise man brings to Jesus signifies His deity, the fact that He is God.  “Frankincense to offer have I, Incense owns a deity nigh.  Prayer and praising, all men raising, worship Him, God on High!”  So, this second king offers a gift that symbolizes Christ’s second office as God.  He is God on High!

The third king steps forward and humbly offers the last of the three gifts, Myrrh.  “Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume, breathes a life of gathering gloom.  Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying, sealed in a stone cold tomb.”  Myrrh was an embalming ointment or perfume.  Something that masked the stench of rotting flesh.  So the living person smelling myrrh would immediately think of someone dead being buried.  The gift symbolizes Christ’s last office as sacrifice.  He was the only perfect, spotless sacrifice.  Jesus committed no sin or offense and yet was sacrificed by God the Father on the cross.  This verse brings up vivid images in my head of a man abandoned by all why loved him (sorrowing) who was beaten beyond what most humans can bear (signing, bleeding) and then finally being killed as a criminal would be killed, but only after suffering separation from God, the punishment for our sins (dying). 

But the last verse is different than all the others.  “Glorious now, behold Him arise!  King, and God, and sacrifice!  Alleluia, Alleluia, Earth to Heaven replies!”  He died, but He rose again, and this time not in humility, but as resurrected, glorious in appearance.  King and God and sacrifice, the song says, tying all the verses and gifts back together.  Alleluia, which is praise the Lord, earth speaks back to heaven.  We shout “Praise God!” because He has died and risen again, for the forgiveness of our sins, allowing us to live with God in heaven for all eternity.  What a gift! 

I know, a lot of you still aren’t convinced that this song is that amazing, but the beautiful imagery and the solid theology of the song have been set to some amazing orchestrations.  The one that I have had the privilege of singing and enjoy the most is by David Clydesdale.  He does such an awesome job of making you feel the words and the mood of the song.  The song can be found on David T. Clydesdale’s album, “Let Heaven and Nature Sing” with the London Symphony Orchestra and the Master’s College Chorale. 

This is just another example of the good things that God has given us.  The fact that we can take theological truths and express them in creative, artistic language and set them to excellent, moving music is a testimony of God’s love for us and of His goodness in His creation.

Friends, I have been thinking and praying a lot recently about what I should be doing with my life and what I should be doing with my time.  Through a lot of prayer and meditation, plus a lot of good conversations with Dana, my Mom and other people that I truly respect, I have come to some life altering conclusions.  I will try to be brief:

I love music and I love people.  I love to see people serving God truly with their hearts (when my heart is right anyway).  It's been a long time coming (a really long time) but I believe that the Lord is calling me into ministry.  I desire to serve people as a leader at a church.  Whether the Lord would have me do this full time or with all of my free time, I do not know.  What i do know is that I want to see His body grow in their love and appreciation of the good things that God has given us, specifically music.  I want to understand it better so that I can teach it better and perform/lead it better.  I have decided to pursue a vocational ministry position.  My mom really support me in this and has, I quote, "Always thought I should be a pastor/minister."  I can see how the Lord has been leading me in this direction and preparing me for this decision.  It's so cool to see how He has been working through all of my circumstances and desires.  Because of this, I have decided some other things:

I will stay at The Master's College for one additional year to study music theory, conducting, music ed, church music administration, piano, more voice, more choral music.  I want to expand my knowledge base of all kinds of music so that I can be effective in the realm of music.  Because it is the Lord that leads me in this direction, I know He will provide for me to be able to do it.  I am so excited to see how it is going to work out.

I am also deciding what church I should be attending.  I love my brothers and sisters at my current church in SoCal, Faith Community Church.  But it is increasingly difficult to get involved in the music program at the church.  Also, the other ministries and programs I have been involved with have disolved or been critically altered within the past year or so.  Because of this, I feel like this would be the opportune time to reevaluate my church home and look to see if I could be more effective in ministry somewhere else.  I have been praying about it and seeking godly council and through this I have been looking at Santa Clarita Baptist Chruch and their music program.  The church is smaller, which is more appealing to me, and they have a more extencive music program there.  I have spoken with the music pastor and others in the congragation and I believe that it would be wise for me to invest my life into this church and these people.  I would be able to learn much more about church music and the way it happens by being involved in it.  Dana (who recently started going to church with me) and I are looking at Santa Clarita together, deciding on how we could be serving there, so please pray for us.

Also, I have decided that Dana is the most amazing woman I have ever met (except for my mother, but it could be argued that i never really met my mother, I always have known her... anyway).  She loves me despite all my downfalls, my sinful pride, and my other issues.  I believe that she loves me because God has put that love in her heart for me.  She encourages me and serves beside me and I believe she would be a wonderful partner in ministry and life.  I also think she is really cute :)  Anyway, please pray for our relationship and how it should progress from here, considering that we still have school to finish.  Pray that the Lord would lead us in the direction He wants us to go.

Well, that is kind of how my life is going right now.  I will be going home for Christmas break and will be involved in my church back in Kansas, Grace Bible Church.  Also, I have a lot of unbelieving family that will be coming to our house for Christmas, so pray that my mother and I would be useful for the gospel of Christ, to share His love and message with them.  It is a delicate situation and our actions are so cruicial.  Please pray that we would be totally selfless and loving to our unbelieving family!  We want to spend eternity in heaven with them and do not wish upon them the suffering of being cut off from God, here on earth and then in eternity.

Thanks to whoever is reading this for taking the time to love me and care about me by reading what is happening in my life.  Thanks for putting up with my long windedness.

Faith

Two passages that I have been looking at recently (as I work my way through Matthew) are Matthew 14:22-33 (Jesus walking on the water) and Matthew 17:20 (Faith like a mustard seed).  Now, I had written previously on the Armor of God and the shield of faith.  This all kind of ties in together.  But let me start with something else:

I am a sinner.  I seriously have problems, big problems.  I know what I need to do and I blatantly ignore it.  I see a situation and I say “Jason, you need to follow God’s will and Law” and I want to!  But I don’t do it!  I don’t understand it.  But even as I sit here confessing this, I remember Paul in Romans saying “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”  (7:19).  He also says, “For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.” (7:22-23).  When I saw this verse just now, it made me cry.  This is exactly what it is like!  I love the law of God and I love doing His will!  I want to be His servant more than anything in the world.  All I want to do with my life is serve God and His people, but I can’t!  I keep screwing up, I keep forsaking His law.  I keep on thinking that my humanly desires and passions are far better.  Why else would I trade my riches in fellowship with God for the painful, wretched existence of following my own ways?  “Wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death?”  (7:24)  Yet God is rich in mercy and grace… I don’t understand His ways.  I feel like He is calling me to a life of service and ministry, but I am certainly not qualified.  I keep pressing on, though, I want to serve Him, with all my heart I want to love Him and do His will and follow His ways.  It’s so hard though.  Sin keeps deceiving me, crippling me.  But God’s mercy reaches me wherever I go.  “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  For the law of the spirit of life has set you free (from condemnation) in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” (7:25-8:2)

When Jesus walked on the water and Peter saw him coming, Peter asked Jesus to command him to come out to him on the water.  So Jesus said, “Come,” and Peter went.  So Peter is walking toward Jesus on the water, but then sees the stormy seas around him and becomes afraid.  When he starts to fear, he forgets that Jesus is standing right there, so Peter begins to sink.  Peter sees that he is sinking and cries out to Jesus to save Him, which He does immediately.  Jesus then says to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”  They both then climb back into the boat.

1)  Peter had faith to get out of a perfectly good boat and start walking on water.  Now, it was obvious to all people involved that this was a miracle.  So, we see that Peter has faith to walk on the water to Jesus.

2) Peter gets distracted.  He sees the wind and the water and 3) becomes afraid.  So, when he fears he 4) loses his sight of Jesus.  When he loses sight of Jesus he 5) starts to sink.  Well, now Peter has a problem.  A minute ago he was the bravest of all men, with more faith than I think I would have had in that situation.  Now he is sinking because he got distracted.  Well, as soon as he realized that he is sinking, he 6) remembers Jesus and cries out to Him.  7) Jesus saves him immediately by taking hold of him.  While He is pulling Peter back up out of the water, 8) Jesus asks him “Why did you doubt, you of little faith?”  It doesn’t record Peter’s answers, which makes us think that maybe it was rhetorical.  Probably it was more of a rebuke toward Peter for getting distracted.

So what was Peter’s sin?  It was doubting, being afraid of circumstances that the Lord had perfect control over (which He shows them later in the passage by making the wind die down).  So, when I have faith to follow God’s commands and to do what He tells me, He is pleased.  But then I get distracted.  Instead of remembering that God will provide me with a job and a place to live and food to eat, I start to doubt.  Now, really, I have the faith to know that God will do these things for me and take care of me.  But I forget that!  I forget that I believe that God will really take care of me.  It takes slap in the face to make me remember that I really do believe God will take care of me.  Peter’s slap in the face was him sinking.  Jesus was not going to let Peter die there, He had plans for Peter, as we see later in the gospels and in Acts.  But Peter doubted and forgot that Jesus was right there.  This was Peter’s sin.  Peter forgot that God was in control.

Later in the book of Matthew, Jesus casts a demon out that the disciples had been unable to cast out.  Jesus makes known to them that it was because of their little faith.  They didn’t think they could do it.  In other words, they doubted that Jesus had really given them the power to cast out that demon.  So Jesus tells that that if they have faith a mustard seed, they can say to a mountain “Move” and it will move.  Now, apparently none of us have consistent faith like this.  We know that if God gave us the power, we could move a mountain, but we don’t really think that God will give us that power.  In other words, we doubt God’s ability.  We know that it is possible, we just, get distracted by our own limitations.  Crazy, huh?

In my life, I have to apply this principle.  When something seems impossible, or when things seem to be going south really fast, I need to remember that God is in fact in control and I just have to trust Him.  When there is sin in my life, I have to know that God says He has given me the power to overcome it!  I doubt that much of the time.  I feel powerless against my flesh.  But God says, if I have faith, I can move a mountain, so if I have faith, I can certainly fight off the fiery darts of the evil one.  God has given me the power, I just need to use it and not be distracted by my circumstances.

The more I read what I just wrote, the more it confuses me.  These are just my immediate thoughts and not necessarily a well structured and thought out Bible lesson.  I just have been writing down what comes to mind.  I pray that it is accurate, but I could be wrong about these two passages.  Praise the Lord that He has given us the ability to read and think through His Word to us.  I am still getting practice at it, I’m not perfect at all.

Just for your own information, if you want to study the Millennium and the Rapture, take a look at passages like Revelation 20-22, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, and 1 Corinthians 15:51-58.  Follow your cross references from there :)  I read these passages recently and I have really had a better clarity of mind when reading them.  If you read them in a straight forward way without trying to read anything into them, they make a lot of sense.  Anyway, just my thought.  Ok, rock on guys!

J-Sun